Love Beyond Reason
Book 2 of Morna's Legacy Series
The ground behind me crunched, the coldness in the air hardening all of nature. The noise was a sure sign someone was approaching. Part of me hoped it would be him, but part of me hoped that the footsteps behind me were a figment of me mind. I was furious, hurt, and humiliated by me presence here. It was wrong of me to have come here, to be in the place he shared with his new wife, but I wanted to see him, to hold him, to know that it wasna only me that was pained by our last moments spent together before I traveled forward in time.
"Bri told me I would find ye here. I dinna think I would ever see ye again, Blaire."
My hand froze as it moved down the side of the chestnut colored mare. "Aye, I suppose ye dinna."
"I'm pleased to see ye. It has been verra hard for me since ye went away."
He was lying I was certain, words meant to make me weak in front of him and cause me to confess me true feelings. I'd done so once before, only to be sent away heartbroken. I wouldna allow meself to be so foolish again. "Oh, has it? I dinna believe ye were that fond of me."
He grabbed me by the arm, pulling me away from the mare as he spun me so that I faced him. I was close to him, our chests nearly touching, as he stared down at me angrily. "Doona do that, Blaire. I came here to apologize to ye, but I willna allow ye to behave as if ye believe that I dinna care for ye. Look into me eyes and tell me if ye believe that I doona still."
I couldna breathe. His grip on me was tight, and all I could see were his eyes, pained and hungry. Me own chest started to rise and fall rapidly, and I yanked away from him. "Ye doona need to apologize for no wanting me. Ye canna help who ye love. I hope that ye and Edana will be verra happy together." I walked as quickly as I could away from him, desperate to get back to the safety of the castle. We were too alone here, and if he touched me again, I was afraid I wouldna be able to push meself away once more.
He was too quick. This time he dinna only grab me arm but gripped me tightly by both wrists as he pulled me back into the confined shelter of the stables. Once inside, he leaned against the door of an empty stable as he pulled me against him, my wrists and front flush against his chest. I kept me hands in a fist, unwilling to allow them to lay against him, certain I would uncoil at the touch of me hands on him once more.
He was tense as if suppressing something deep within him. He dinna speak, dinna move, only held me there close to him as we stared silently at one another. Slowly, our breathing quickened, our chests matching the rise and fall of each other's. His eyes dropped to me lips, only to dart upward once more.
I could feel danger approaching, feelings unsaid threatening to express themselves through touch, and I squirmed within his grasp hoping that I could move away and break the tension surrounding us.
He dinna allow it and only pulled me closer, leaning forward to plead breathlessly in me ear. "Doona move, lass." He pulled his head back so that his eyes pierced me own. "I know....I know I canna have ye, but ye were right. I canna help who I love and, married or no, I love ye, Blaire. I should never have sent ye away. To be separated from ye these past months has been hell. Ye have to know that I dinna mean a word I said then. If I were a better man, I would never have done what I did to ye. If I were a better man, I wouldna do this to ye now."
His lips, trembling and warm, pressed against my own. I melted, allowing the man I'd yearned so long for to hold me in his arms as I'd dreamed of him doing for what seemed like ages.
I should've pulled away and run back to the safety of the castle. Around such company, he would never have been so bold, but here, with no one to serve as witness to our actions but our consciences, he held me tightly against him, his eyes and mouth hungry, his body trembling as he struggled with his conflicting emotions.
He wanted me badly, and me own heart was beating such that I could scarcely think beyond the next touch of his lips. But Arran was a good man, and I could feel his struggle in the tension in his arms, hard muscles holding him back from surrender, back from the act that would sever his sacred marriage vows. Despite his past philandering ways, it was not in him to decide such a thing. It was not in me to ask this of him.
He restrained. His lips were eager, yet reserved. His body was tight as a bow string as he waited for me to either send him away or invite him into me arms. The decision was mine, and in that instant I could see the future that lay ahead of me, one of solitude. Arran and I couldna be together in the way we both desired, as husband and wife. But our love needed to be validated, to be expressed in such a way that we could both hold on to the memory that our hearts belonged to one another even as we made our way through life apart. I couldna deny meself one night of the presence of his love.
© Bethany Claire